Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
