Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
