I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
