i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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