he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We had to coat check the pizza.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
