Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
