She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
