do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
As shirtless as possible
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
