Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
