May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize