that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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