i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
