why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Vodka?
Forever.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
