There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
