So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
