try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
