I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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