Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Your cock deserves a montage
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
