Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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