you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
