booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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