Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
