for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
