Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
