I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
