champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
