So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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