He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
