okay pat passed out under dana's car
Soap is not a condiment
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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