I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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