You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
