Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
i think my cat just said my name.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
