I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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