She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
