i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
