If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
