bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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