The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
