I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
