I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
