Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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