well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
