good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
