4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
