is your mom at the bar?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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