I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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