We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
