It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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