Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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