i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i came on her dog
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
