Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
