I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
